This isn't going to count....for awhile

I've been meaning to start a new blog. An interim blog. One that would allow me to just blather away with out order, reason or humor. And not give one shit about meating interest or standard.

But...I couldn't find an accectable title, even if it was temporary. Futhermore, it's taken me several months just to open a blog. So it's probably best that I stick with a familiar address.

I'm looking for a place type. To type out loud. To get started again, but maybe a little differently than I'm used too.

Have you ever read about yourself as the theme of someone's blog? It's fun. I've been dating this girl for about seven months and we are kind of at an impasse. Maybe more on that some other time.

Anyway, an old friend of mine text messaged me one day and says...

"Does someone have a girlfriend?"

"Yes"

"Do you live in the same building?

"Yes"

"I think your girlfriend has a blog..."

I didn't know this.

Yup, I was properly identified as the subject of my girlfriends blog by a friend who stumbled across it. The investigative prowress of an innocent party.

The drama didn't last long however, as the blog was cancelled. A consequence of someone reading my text messages.

I guess it's fair. Blogs can be personal too. And I read hers.

Woah...let's dust this fucker off!

I didn't intend to post. Wasn't even a breezy thought. In fact the only reason I did is I happened to check in with an old and never ending favorite. The kind that never dies. Anyhow, I clicked my own link and what the hell?!?!?! It's been awhile....

What I was suppose to be doing...instead of blathering in this fucking thing, is preparing for a presentation at work. Long and dazzling story short, I have to give a presentation to my work in regards to a work instructions process that I re-wrote and made a few modest changes too.

There is nothing interesting about this.

That's probably why I stopped at power point slide number two and moved on to new endeavors. The good side is that I'm drinking a beer and couldn't care less.......at the moment. Normally, I'm stressed out my fucking mind trying to prove myself and accomplish as mush I possibly can.

That's a hard life to lead.

Which I think is why I'm so looking forward to retirement. Granted, I don't intend to do so until I'm 60...but I do plan to enjoy it very much when that happens. I think I should make that a blog post. Retirement goals. I have lot's of 'em and assuming I make it that far, I promise they will happen. Anyway, back to the now. Oh...I should be working on the presentation. Fuck it. Back to idealism...

Another interesting thing in my life on the social side which i sacrifice heavily, is sort of relationship I have. I have been dating possibly the most easy going, independent women from birth to date. I met her because of my spastic dog. She's a doggie psychologist. I don't know what to make of it.

A very dear person to me asked if I was "dating out of convenience?"

I can assure you, reader, that this is not the case.

I will masturbate out of convenience, but dating is anything but.

I do like spending time with her....it's just...something is missing and I think it's time to look for that something somewhere else.

But first I have a presentation to prepare for...a paper to write....Army training this weekend....and so on...

I guess that's how life works.

You consume yourself with the axis you turn on...

~Rolligun

Random Thoughts

I was walkiing my dog down by the lake and I saw a little kid, maybe 8, wearing a t-shirt that says "tobacco free." I wasn't sure what to think...In fact, I think it should be implied. For example, I am not going to wear a shirt that says "fuck you." People should just know. In any event, what to do about the kid...do I congratulate him or do I give his parents some clothes money?

I'm trying to make a conscious effort to smile at people when I walk. I think it's nice. But there's a trade-off when manufacturing smiles.

I give a presentation tomorrow night for my class. I haven't done this in about three years. Maybe I'll try the infomercial approach and use an unessearcy amount of enthusiasm.

I left my apartment the other night and when I opened the door, there were three pepole, in a file, eating food next to my door. This bothered me. I think I'll put up sign requiring reservations.

One of my boss's is an Air Force guy. He can't get enough of the Air Force guys as opposed to Army guys kind of joking. I couldn't give a fuck. See manufactured smiles.

I have a new nemsis in the Army. He's an old brittle man, who I presume once audtitioned for the role of John Wayne. He thinks he's a presidential appointee. I think he'll have a heart-attack the first time I express my disagreement with him.

~Rolligun

An Email Conspiracy

The following is my reply in an email thread with some friends. It consists of old college buddies with the point of planning a get together next fall. Anyway, my friend Ryan uses his work email address and for whatever reason they have the most ridiculous email filter. And given my affections for swearing, it comes as no surprise that none of my responses get through to him. So that means that I have to edit what I say and that drives me fucking nuts! I don't know how to get my messages across properly with out swearing. Anyhow here goes...


Dear Ryan,

Ryan I'm worried about you. See, I fear that you may not know the entire story behind your company's emailing policies. For example, getting an email through "Quality One's" gauntlet of grammatical algorithms is not as easy as using a series of decoy characters from the numeric row, as you have suggested.

The email I sent regarding bandwagons and debauchery, did not make it through the "Quality One" electronic filtering system. I had to resend it to you as a second hand attachment. Despite using a strategically placed assterisk, "Quality One" was not to be fooled.

But back to the beginning, regarding the part about me being "worried about you." It is not because I'm concerned about you not getting important company memos, detailing such policies as email. It is that I don't think "Quality One" is who they say they are. Let me explain...

You see, I fear that "Quality One," as they are most commonly known, is actually an indirect subsidiary of the infamous Halliburton defense contracting company. Otherwise known as VP Chaney’s vehicle for world domination. I don't think that "Quali-Burton" as I shall now refer to them, makes just "cabinets."

In fact, I think that they are secretly a kitchen surveillance company. The “custom cabinetry” as they call it, is really a tool for domestic spying, perhaps to help discredit the FDA. When “Quali-Burton” speaks of “framing” what they are really saying is watch the F*ck out, A**hole, big brother is watching you cook!

Why would Big Brother want to monitor the culinary habits of honest Americans? I'm not sure. Granted, it’s kind of a Hickory, Maple and Oak approach, but maybe their planning on using the Intel to eventually wage a war on the “nutritionists.” Claiming that their dietary rhetoric is terrorizing the U.S. Department of Agriculture. That in turn could possibly prevent the USDA from endorsing the chemically charged food products that we, as a nation, have spent years swallowing. Just think about all the profits that would be lost by these chemical companies that vigorously research new ways to manipulate the size of cow balls, so that more milk can be produced, per ball. What about pesticides? It’s apparently not acceptable to have healthy cows piss all over the crops to encourage growth, instead we need to “spray them” to protect from something or other.

All I’m saying Ryan, is be careful man. Why else would “Quality One” have such a ridiculous email system? What are they trying to hide?

~Rolligun

A Doggie Journal...

I've recently begun taking my dog, who will call "Cody" to an anmial behaviorist. Cody got in a little bit of trouble awhile back, the kind of trouble that requires stitches. So seeing as though I don't want give him up or threaten the safety of my dog or anyone else, I've decided to get him a therapist. Part of his training includes me keeping a journal of his contact with other people.

This is an extremely boring assignment, especially since I'm suppose to prevent any human to dog contact until we're further along with the process. So to make it a littlle more interesting, I put a slightly "operational" spin to it as well as some bonus observations for the therapist to enjoy.

I hope she doesn't think my behavior (i.e journal) is the reason for his undesriable behavior. In any event, here is the format and highlights of the journal that I submitted to her today, his second appointment.


Task Force Cody
Canine Surveillance

February 1, 2007

Old lady walking…

Cody's walking on the left side; lady is approaching on the right. Lady is concentrating solely on forward movement. Cody identifies target and crosses in front of observer, or me. Cody's disposition is curious with wagging tale and ears pointed back. Target focus is subject’s right hand. Subject passes and observer pulls Cody before contact is made. A 270 degree turn is required by observer in order to continue forward with out risk of leash entanglement.

Training notes: All three maneuvers are completed. Approximate time seven minuets. Canine Disposition: Cody views this solely as “treat time.”

February 2, 2007

Guy in elevator…

Cody wanted to greet. Wagging tale, ears pointed back. Guy asserts position in corner of elevator. Cody continues to engage meeting, but no canine to human contact is made. Guy in corner is happy about that.

February 3, 2007

Guy waiting for Bus…

Cody zeros in on the back of strange man’s knee. Cody begins quick approach toward back of knee. Observer halts momentum and instead suggests nearby newspaper stand. The man knows nothing.

Saturday night Dog sitting….

My sister drops off her dogs. Cody demands more attention/affection with other dogs around. He accepts there presence but makes little attempt to socialize. Mainly harbors in my room. He did, when notified that everybody would be going for a “walk,” attempt to play with my sister’s dog, Virgil. Virgil is also an alpha dog and is not always receptive to unsolicited attention. He did not appreciate Cody’s attempts and all spontaneous play time was averted.

Cody did find toys previously thought to be of no consequence to now be suddenly useful in the presence of other dogs.

February 4, 2007

Cleaning Lady in Stairway…

On my way down the stairs a lady petted Cody before I had the chance to preemptively yell at her. She patted his head and I continued to concentrate on my descent. Cody paused for the attention, but quickly lost interest due to imminent thoughts of sniffing shrubbery.


February 7, 2007

Girl in elevator…

Cody was eager to receive attention from random girl. Girl in elevator was interested in giving Cody attention; however contact was averted with the words “my dog is in training.” I was expecting leper treatment from girl, however she happily obliged. Cody settled into a seated position, next to me but facing girl.

February 8, 2007

Couple Walking…

Cody leads with nose, wagging tale, eager to join walking couple. I pull Cody back before couple has opportunity to separate their fused hands and pet Cody. Within two steps, Cody is now fixated on looming pile of snow.

February 9, 2007

Lady in elevator with mini-dog and partial shopping cart…

Lady asks “is he friendly” “No” I replay, “he’s in training.” Cody makes no attempt to greet lady and her dog.

February 11, 2007

Scrubby man in elevator…

Elevator is small and man avoids customary step which is normally executed to allow for more room when additional occupants enter. Cody is eager to greet scrubby, immobile man, but as I pull him back man begins to pet Cody. I ask that he “please not pet my dog as he is in training.” The man responds with an immediate, however softly toned grunt. I attempt to translate the meaning of this grunt and I conclude that it is simply acknowledgement of his auditory abilities. Furthermore I consider his communication skills to be consistent with his avoidance of customary behavior. Cody spends his time wagging his tale and looking at socially challenged man. Cody’s jaw is open and his tongue is hanging out. Coincidently, so is the man.



{I hope this helps, becuase the alternative is even less interesting than that.}

~Rolligun

what am i thinking now?

I'm sitting in my favorite pair of jeans. I just found them in one of the old boxes I have. I have a collection of sand colored boxes, decorated with duct tape, that contain the things I didn't throw out. Anyway my jeans, they're probably about nine years old and have ridiculous holes in them. Originally, the holes started out of natural development, but one day I decided to encourage the process and self destruct them under my own free will. So now, as I sit, they have gaping holes in each knee. They have random tears and a history wear. They have strategically placed safety pins, ironically, to continue their presence. I like these jeans because they're comfortable and they're sloppy, kind of like bowling shoes. I'm a horrible bowler.

I saw a women speak on Fox News. I hate Fox news, but I'll come back to that later. This woman had an important message, as she represented a lobbying group that was pushing for a change in foreign policy. She advocates the color pink. So this woman spoke on Fox news and all Fox news wanted to do was to manipulate her message. The correspondent, whose name rhymes with Vanity, would never shut up and continually pressured this woman to say the things he wanted her to say. If you’re not from this country, you should know that we have a two party media system as well as a two party political system, and everyone answers to the popular dollar. They work in teams. Anyway, this woman stood her ground and didn't give the answers she was pressured for. I admired this and sent her an email sharing my affirmation. She has since responded, and is curious to tap my mind, but I don't think I want to get involved in that. I just wanted to tell her that I admired her posture. Fox news is a horrible outlet of one sided, televised propaganda. Ruport Murdoch himself has admitted this in interview, well at least to the notion of pushing ideology. But anyway, check more sources than the link I gave you, nobody is ever completely right. It is always the person who’s loudest on stage that gives form to popular understanding.

So what am I thinking now? I'm thinking that I want to become a dirty recluse. A person who jots his thoughts and travels the world. That's what I want. I want to answer to myself and be able to tell the people who want my answers to fuck off. That's what I want. But will I do that? Probably not. I will continue to study and learn, but unfortunately I'll keep learning things of secondary interest. I will grow to pay taxes and strive for a retirement empire. Actually, I have grand plans for "retirement" so I do want money for that, but the commonly traveled process troubles me. What does that make me? I have presented and forecasted my own contradiction. I don't know. So I guess this entire post was leading up to the fact that I don't know anything , much less what I'm thinking.

~Rolligun

A Breif Tale of Europe

I spent the previous two months in Europe. I started in Spain and didn’t originally have any interest in going to there, but I’m glad I did. The country was beautiful and plus I would get really excited when I would remember a phrase or two from my two years of high school Spanish, which was twelve and thirteen years ago. Anyway, my temporary excitement quickly led to disappointment when I couldn’t understand their answers. From there I caught a flight to London and arrived at a friend’s house at 3:00 in the morning. It was the best I could do at the time. So I was standing outside her door at three o’clock in the morning, tired and still pissed off about my experiences at Stanstedt Airport. I rang the bell. No answer. Rang again. No answer. Now I was fully prepared to sleep on her front lawn, as I had no where else to go, but I figured I would try and find a phone first. One last try before snuggling up with the roses. Just as I started on my payphone mission my residential benefactor came to the door. She was in her pajamas and began rubbing her eyes. As one would do when guests show up at that hour. Sorry I say. She welcomed me nonetheless. London was great and my generous host was a far more interesting person than I am. But I’m trying. Anyhow we had fun and I miss my time there. After London I went to Amsterdam where I lost complete control of myself. As you do in Amsterdam. But I didn’t do anything I regretted. Next stop was Munich for Oktoberfest. Now that was cool. Large tents with large mugs of delicious beer. Girls in Bavarian dress and somehow drunk people managed to get along. Definitely not an American thing. After Munich I went to Copenhagen, saw a castle, and went to Christianville, an autonomous community (look it up). From Copenhagen, I went to Stockholm. Land of the blondes. I am Swedish so I tried to explain to the girls that I’m just as much a part of the community as they are. They disagreed and looked for someone else to talk too. After Sweden I went to Prague. Prague was excellent and I have a special affinity for post nations of the eastern bloc. They became fraternal soviets, more or less. After Prague I went to Budapest were I missed riots by only a week. I was mad about that, because I’ll protest anything. "Yeah, and Fuck You." I would also point my finger. Then my final stop was Rome. Rome is a must see. Such dramatic history in Rome. And it’s all still there!

This was definitely the fast version of my travels. I loved it all and didn’t want to come back. I wanted to keep going lead my life in an entirely different direction. I think I will plan a trip to Thailand next winter but I do want to go back to Europe, one way or another. I’ll figure it out somehow.

~Rolligun

....just a couple more

Pictures #2

How should I title this...hmm, let's call it, let's call it, "Pictures"