Because I said so...

Based on what I can remember in my history of auditory comprehension, that single paraphrased answer to my questions, “because I said so” is the second most frustrating thing I have ever heard. The first and forever reigning king of “frustrating answers” is and always will be …“no.” But that’s a whole different essay. This one is devoted to number two. As you get older, that kind of response to your concerns becomes less and less acceptable. With a growing sense of comprehension, people learn how to better articulate their objections and thereby force the eloquently lazy authoritarian into providing an acceptable explanation.

Me: “Why do I have to tell all of my guys that we need to start walking backwards and begin meowing at the introduction of our sentences?”

Leader: “Because I make the rules, and what I say, goes. It is your job to carry out my orders, not to question them”

That type of response is simply a glorified version of the title, however still equally frustrating.

The exasperating fact of the matter is, that’s true and is commonly understood to be a sufficient answer to anybody’s questions. Even in the event that an explanation is granted. As a sergeant, I don’t have the ability to question the orders of my officers, assuming they are legal. It is my job to carry out and enforce the intent of my leaders.

But that’s not quite the end of it, the trouble continues when it’s my turn to convey this message to my troops.

Me: “meow…alright guys, you all have to go turn your uniforms inside out.”
Troops: “Are you serious?”
Me: “meow…afraid so.”
Troops: “Why do we have to do that?”
Me: “cough,cough” (hairball) “…because…err… (ah fuck it)…because I said so”

Actually, I never quite default to that ordinary of an answer when asked for one because I can appreciate how unfulfilling it is. Unfortunately, I often times am left only with the option of A.) telling it how it is or B.) glorifying my own bullshit reply. I always choose the former, even if it is the sarcastic form of the latter. They get the point, and either laugh at me or grudgingly accept the answer. Anything to keep them from looking at me like I just flew in on a cow.

The whole point of the passage is to illustrate my frequent dilemma when acting as the messenger/enforcer in the chain of command. It’s actually quite difficult, especially when I, myself, don’t see the reason or value behind something, but I need to present it with as much strength and validity as I can. If I can’t do it in a genuine matter, then I am forced to be creative en route to arousing motivation and enthusiasm. More on this subject in the future. It’s a daily affair. Consider it part one. If this conclusion doesn’t provide you with any resolution as to what my point was, then let me rephrase it for you.

“This is my point because that’s what I said it was.”

~Rolligun