what am i thinking now?

I'm sitting in my favorite pair of jeans. I just found them in one of the old boxes I have. I have a collection of sand colored boxes, decorated with duct tape, that contain the things I didn't throw out. Anyway my jeans, they're probably about nine years old and have ridiculous holes in them. Originally, the holes started out of natural development, but one day I decided to encourage the process and self destruct them under my own free will. So now, as I sit, they have gaping holes in each knee. They have random tears and a history wear. They have strategically placed safety pins, ironically, to continue their presence. I like these jeans because they're comfortable and they're sloppy, kind of like bowling shoes. I'm a horrible bowler.

I saw a women speak on Fox News. I hate Fox news, but I'll come back to that later. This woman had an important message, as she represented a lobbying group that was pushing for a change in foreign policy. She advocates the color pink. So this woman spoke on Fox news and all Fox news wanted to do was to manipulate her message. The correspondent, whose name rhymes with Vanity, would never shut up and continually pressured this woman to say the things he wanted her to say. If you’re not from this country, you should know that we have a two party media system as well as a two party political system, and everyone answers to the popular dollar. They work in teams. Anyway, this woman stood her ground and didn't give the answers she was pressured for. I admired this and sent her an email sharing my affirmation. She has since responded, and is curious to tap my mind, but I don't think I want to get involved in that. I just wanted to tell her that I admired her posture. Fox news is a horrible outlet of one sided, televised propaganda. Ruport Murdoch himself has admitted this in interview, well at least to the notion of pushing ideology. But anyway, check more sources than the link I gave you, nobody is ever completely right. It is always the person who’s loudest on stage that gives form to popular understanding.

So what am I thinking now? I'm thinking that I want to become a dirty recluse. A person who jots his thoughts and travels the world. That's what I want. I want to answer to myself and be able to tell the people who want my answers to fuck off. That's what I want. But will I do that? Probably not. I will continue to study and learn, but unfortunately I'll keep learning things of secondary interest. I will grow to pay taxes and strive for a retirement empire. Actually, I have grand plans for "retirement" so I do want money for that, but the commonly traveled process troubles me. What does that make me? I have presented and forecasted my own contradiction. I don't know. So I guess this entire post was leading up to the fact that I don't know anything , much less what I'm thinking.

~Rolligun