Letter of Recommendation

Here is one of those situations where that hyper-active person who was always telling you how important “networking” and “building relationships” with people is, was right. Well almost. I always hated that idea anyway. The idea of getting to know someone or continuing to know someone, just in case one day you need something from them. What the hell is that? Nevertheless, relationship building has never been a strong suit of mine. Well maybe it is and I just never tried, who knows?

I contacted an old professor of mine last week to, you guessed it, ask for a letter of recommendation. I wrote a two page email in which I attempted to describe, advertise and glorify myself, all at the same time. There is no way he was going to remember me. Even with a little prodding; the jury would still be out on that one. I was one of a couple hundred students, a couple of years ago. So how is he going to remember me? Well let’s see, who was I to him? I never hung around after class and discussed lecture. I was always the last to arrive. I was always the first to ask someone, what “happened last time.” I sat in the back. God, was I even a good student?

Depending on your definition, probably not, but despite the evidence, I wouldn’t say I was a detached student. Simply an efficient student. I did the most I could with the time I had and if that meant skipping a class here and there, then so be it. I didn’t have time to go to every class. I worked a lot (expensive living by yourself!). I had a dog to take care of and I was still in the Army. Plus, I had the business club to go to. Just kidding, I didn’t join the business club and if I did, I probably wouldn’t have made any friends or ever shown up anyway, based on information provided. Also, I had to make some scholastic sacrifices for social endeavors. I always felt leading a balanced life is very important for personal development. But I did do some good things, and this is where I banked my hopes on the letter of recommendation.

I gave good presentations. Not just stand up and read presentations, but presentations where I put as much effort into including the class as I did in to the actual content itself. I don’t mind getting in front of people and speaking. I’ll just put my own spin on it. Veiled entertainment wrapped in a professional package. The other thing I had going for me was the “A” he gave me on my senior project. I don’t think I deserved an actual “A”, but regardless, I thanked him for it and that was that. Thirty months later, here I am, looking for a letter of recommendation.

In addition to the email, I included an updated resume. This isn’t something I enjoy doing, updating resumes that is, and I had no intentions of doing so until later this summer. But the circumstances suggested it be done a little earlier. So after a two page, self-glorifying email, and a hastily updated resume, I was ready to pursue my contact.

Dear Dr. Bravo,

Hello…this is…I was…of yours…in…and…addition to… good fortune….advisees…familiarize yourself…who..was...illustration sheds….However….understand…intended connection… not kept…contact…

Currently….stationed…in support…in charge…Before activation...The reason…writing…Dr. Bravo…in regards…encouraged me… to thank you…focus…professional interests…kept in…would normally expect…privileged acknowledgment…understand…most grateful...to discuss…in reference…

Please find…this will…any further…look forward...Dr. Bravo…
do not…hesitate…additional information.


Thank you… time…consideration,… forward…from you!

Sincerely,

Rolligun

And so it goes.

To my amazement I received an email back from Dr. Bravo with an agreement to write the letter of recommendation. Excellent. Outstanding. Fuck you “I need to network guy.” And most importantly, thank you, Dr. Bravo. So this is good news. Now the interesting part of his email is this.

“I want you to write the first draft of the letter. What do you think I would say?”

No problem.

I find this a little bit like voting for yourself, but whatever, I’ll be happy to write my own letter of recommendation. I’ll write it and you sign it. How perfect is that? Actually, why even stop there. I think he is on to something. Why I don’t I just start hiring myself to do shit for people, and then when I’m all done, I’ll let them know it’s time for me to be paid. Have a bad weekend and get arrested for something? To easy, just be sure and tell the judge about Dr. Bravo’s philosophy as well as how much you learned and how better you will be for society because of it!

Smart man that Dr. Bravo. I do know that his request is not as simple as I made it out to be. I am sure he has several intentions for doing so, among them, making his job easier. But also, this is a challenge if you will, and that my efforts will only reflect his. Dr. Bravo was an excellent professor and I am indeed thankful for the recommendation he is willing to give, but he’s not fooling me. Oh no. I’ll write myself an excellent letter of recommendation. I’ll make him proud and I’ll dazzle myself at the same time. If you don’t believe, just shoot me an email. I’ll be happy to tell you all about it.

~Rolligun