No Devise Ergo No Title
Here is a disorganized rendition of three days this past week. Opening scene is another conversation with my platoon leader, my nemesis.
2LT: “SGT Rolligun, Do you want to go on a mission, actually it’s more of a class, but its good training. {The hands begin shaping the air}
Me: “What is it for?”
2lt: “It’s for so and so, I need to have someone certified” {they are impulsive, move like cerebral children}
Me: “That has nothing to do with our mission”
2LT: “Its good training” {their afflicted, the hands are afflicted}
Me: “What are my options?”
2LT “You don’t have any, it starts on the 9’th and runs through the 11’th” {the right hand executes an acute karate chop}
Me: “Fine”
2LT: “It’s good training” {The left hand breaks the same board}
Me: “Fine, are we good here? I gotta get goin.”
2LT “Yes, you can go” {the hands resume the default position, just floating, ready to speak at their own will}
Me: “Alright”
I turn and begin walking.
Left foot, and Right foot, left, then right.
Chin up, jaw clenched, straight ahead
{Fuck You!} I think Out Loud, a Little too Loud
2LT: “SGT Rolligun” {the hands, each pointing in different directions}
Me: I stop, Say nothing. Had said nothing.
2LT: “Did you say something?” {I think he truly desires to conduct music}
Me: “Excuse me?”
2LT: “Did you say something?” {Chorus}
Me: “What do you mean, sir?”
2LT “Did you just say something?” {More Chorus}
Me: “I said excuse me.”
2LT: “No, before that” {he signals the percussion section}
Me: “Before I said excuse me?”
2LT? “Yes!” {Frustrated…the whole damn orchestra begins to play}
Me: “Alright”
2LT: “No?!?!” {The pinnacle of harmony is flowing}
Me: “What?”
2LT: “Nevermind” {The hands bump into to each other, twice, and no more music}
So I was given a choice, a choice with one possible answer (still almost got it wrong) to go on this mission or class or training, depending on which moment it was described to me. I was told only of the type of certification and of the dates. The dates were wrong. I was to start the next morning. Didn’t know that. It took place at another camp, didn’t know that either. Holliday surprises.
I was already scheduled to travel somewhere else, twice this week. Once to pick up equipment and supplies, and the other trip was suppose to be for two of my soldiers who are on the “Weight Control Program.” One of my many roles, I’m also the weight control NCO. I was to take them to their follow-up appointments. Both missions put on hold, for this.
Thirty hours, three days, no big deal. My only challenge is to figure out how this will apply to what I am doing. It doesn’t, I stop figuring. At least I get to get a way for a few days. I leave at 0500.
The next day I arrive at the new camp. I haven’t been here before. It looks exactly the same as the place I came from. Although it seems a little bit brighter, and the air a little lighter.
I walk around aimlessly until I stumble across my temporary billets. It’s a large white tent, large enough to bed fifty. The inside is full of naked mattresses, lying carelessly on broken bunk frames. Two soldiers have already placed their stuff on a couple of the bunks and left. I search for a functional, relatively clean looking bed. I’m picky, it takes awhile. I think I see a dust bunny, inside.
I head to the class.
The class is taught by civilian contractors. It’s another white tent. The main instructor is wearing some sort of eyewear. They could possibly serve as assistance for his vision, or they just as easily could be protection from the sun. I am not sure which.
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “Good morning everybody, it’s good to have you here.”
Class: {blank stares}
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “I will be your main instructor. We have lots of exciting material to cover!”
Class: {blank stares}
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “We just started teaching this stuff, in theatre, this year. We have done 200 soldiers so far. You guys are history in the making. Although it’s not written down anywhere.”
(Pause for laughter)
Class: {blank stares}
We begin the class.
I take notes. I rub my eyes. I Miss something. Take notes. Rub eyes. Miss something.
Ten hours later, the day’s class is done. I leave, search for the gym and find it. It’s another white tent. When I’m done working out, I search for an internet café. I find it. It’s a little white trailer. This will do. But first I wait, in line, I hate lines. I wait in fucking line. Next to a little white trailer.
Once inside I quickly commence my usual routine. Email. News. Bank Account. Sports Headlines. Finally, my latest venture, blogging.
Surprise, Surprise! I have been tagged. This is interesting, I’ve read them but never been apart of one. It looks like fun. I have eighteen minutes to reply. There are soldiers waiting in line.
I finish and walk back to my tent, large and white with broken bed frames. Once inside, I see the other two soldiers.
Me: “hey what’s up” (as I walk by)
Dude: “hey, were you in that class today?”
Me: “Yeah”
Dude: “you looked familiar”
Me: “yeah”
Dude: “well, good night”
Me: “yeah, good night”
The class starts again at 0700. I set my alarm for 0635. Five minutes to dress. Five minutes to shave. Five minutes to brush. It’s a ten minute walk and I have no intentions of eating breakfast. I never do, sleep comes first.
At 0600, the other soldiers wake up. Lights go on. A bed frame breaks. I wake, but try to ignore them. I have 35 minutes.
At 0620…
Dude: “hey man, wake up. We got class at 0700”
{Yes I know, this is true}
Me: “okay, thanks. I got it”
Dude: “It’s 0620”
Me: “I know, I got fifteen minutes. Thank you.”
I wake up on time, at 0635. I do everything a minute faster than the prescribed time and make it to class four minutes early.
We have tables now, but only so many. The seating arrangements from the day before, that I had hoped would transfer over to the next day, were no more. My usual position, in the back left of any room, whether it’s a class or a waiting area, has been taken. My new position is closer to the front and directly between two other soldiers. This new location doesn’t bother me so much as the lack of personal space. I’m not just picky. I also want as much room as I can have. In every situation. I look at the back left. My arms move only from the elbows on down.
There is a female soldier next to me, she attempts to kill a fly.
Class begins.
Today’s teacher stands sideways when he speaks. Always facing to our left. There is nothing of particular importance about the wall to our left.
Sideways Guy: “Good morning everybody. We have lots to cover today.”
Class: {Blank stares}
I rub my eyes.
I wonder if the sideways guy is wearing a toupee. I don’t care, I just want to know for sure. I think about asking the female soldier next to me, but she’s watching a fly. I leave her alone.
Sideways guy goes through his power point presentation while looking at the wall. I can’t see his right arm. Part way through, he takes a break and another guy steps in to talk about something else. He stands directly in the middle of the room. In the middle of all the tables, and directly in front of me. As he speaks, he takes one step to his right and two steps to his left. This process continues to repeat itself until he gets to the end of the tables and starts over. As he speaks, he decides he needs a volunteer to include in his lecture. He doesn’t need someone to demonstrate any form of action, just the name of somebody. I sit quietly and take notes.
Guy in the middle of the room: “So what would happen if…err…(he looks at me) SGT Rolligun comes across this situation. What should SGT Rolligun do?”
I rub my eyes.
Am I supposed to answer?
Class: {Blank stares}
The guy in the middle of the room answers his own questions and continues to use me, or my name, as an aid in his presentation. It catches me off guard, but I’m o.k. with it. It gives me a warm feeling of convergence. I want to stand next to him. One step to the right, two to the left. I know the pattern.
Instead, I take notes. Rub my eyes. Try not to miss anything.
Class: {Blank Stares}
The female soldier tries to kill another fly. She misses, again.
At the end of the day, I look for the white tent that has a gym inside it. It’s between two other large white tents. When I’m done I look for the white trailer. The line is to long. Fuck it. I go back to my tent. It takes twelve minutes this time.
The next day class starts fifteen minutes earlier. So now I wake up at 0620. I thought this would please the other two soldiers. They don’t seem to care.
Class Begins.
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “Last day of class, is anyone gonna miss me?”
(Pause for laughter)
Class: {You get the point}
I take notes. I rub my eyes. I Miss something. Take notes. Rub eyes. Miss something.
We take a break at about 1000. I happen to exit the door at the same time as another soldier. An inevitable conversation is required. He’s funny and I like him. But I’d rather just think to myself and get some air. This doesn’t happen.
Class continues till we break for chow. The soldier from this morning glances back at me as everyone starts to leave. I pretend to shuffle papers in some fashion of importance. He passes. I head to the chow hall, eat quickly and return to my seat in the middle of the room. I look at the back left corner and wish I were there. I am early, so I start to read. A different female soldier returns and sits two seats to my left. She starts to read a magazine. She reads aloud and begins to do some sort of bizarre stretch. She is still in her seat and it looks awkward. Despite my curiosity, I continue to read.
Class resumes.
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “Were almost done, two more sections. But we could go longer.”
(Pause)
Class: {Blank Stares}
Class continues on and on.
I take notes. I rub my eyes. I Miss something. Take notes. Rub eyes. Miss something.
The female soldier next to me finally kills a fly. I congratulate her and she laughs. It’s the only thing I said to her.
Eventually we finish and to conclude the course, we actually had to take a class picture. Allegedly for head count purposes. I usually don’t like having my picture taken, but I don’t ask any questions. Although I have them.
Well that’s my latest post with no devise and essentially, the last three days of my life. I leave tomorrow morning.
I will wake up at 0610.
~Rolligun
2LT: “SGT Rolligun, Do you want to go on a mission, actually it’s more of a class, but its good training. {The hands begin shaping the air}
Me: “What is it for?”
2lt: “It’s for so and so, I need to have someone certified” {they are impulsive, move like cerebral children}
Me: “That has nothing to do with our mission”
2LT: “Its good training” {their afflicted, the hands are afflicted}
Me: “What are my options?”
2LT “You don’t have any, it starts on the 9’th and runs through the 11’th” {the right hand executes an acute karate chop}
Me: “Fine”
2LT: “It’s good training” {The left hand breaks the same board}
Me: “Fine, are we good here? I gotta get goin.”
2LT “Yes, you can go” {the hands resume the default position, just floating, ready to speak at their own will}
Me: “Alright”
I turn and begin walking.
Left foot, and Right foot, left, then right.
Chin up, jaw clenched, straight ahead
{Fuck You!} I think Out Loud, a Little too Loud
2LT: “SGT Rolligun” {the hands, each pointing in different directions}
Me: I stop, Say nothing. Had said nothing.
2LT: “Did you say something?” {I think he truly desires to conduct music}
Me: “Excuse me?”
2LT: “Did you say something?” {Chorus}
Me: “What do you mean, sir?”
2LT “Did you just say something?” {More Chorus}
Me: “I said excuse me.”
2LT: “No, before that” {he signals the percussion section}
Me: “Before I said excuse me?”
2LT? “Yes!” {Frustrated…the whole damn orchestra begins to play}
Me: “Alright”
2LT: “No?!?!” {The pinnacle of harmony is flowing}
Me: “What?”
2LT: “Nevermind” {The hands bump into to each other, twice, and no more music}
So I was given a choice, a choice with one possible answer (still almost got it wrong) to go on this mission or class or training, depending on which moment it was described to me. I was told only of the type of certification and of the dates. The dates were wrong. I was to start the next morning. Didn’t know that. It took place at another camp, didn’t know that either. Holliday surprises.
I was already scheduled to travel somewhere else, twice this week. Once to pick up equipment and supplies, and the other trip was suppose to be for two of my soldiers who are on the “Weight Control Program.” One of my many roles, I’m also the weight control NCO. I was to take them to their follow-up appointments. Both missions put on hold, for this.
Thirty hours, three days, no big deal. My only challenge is to figure out how this will apply to what I am doing. It doesn’t, I stop figuring. At least I get to get a way for a few days. I leave at 0500.
The next day I arrive at the new camp. I haven’t been here before. It looks exactly the same as the place I came from. Although it seems a little bit brighter, and the air a little lighter.
I walk around aimlessly until I stumble across my temporary billets. It’s a large white tent, large enough to bed fifty. The inside is full of naked mattresses, lying carelessly on broken bunk frames. Two soldiers have already placed their stuff on a couple of the bunks and left. I search for a functional, relatively clean looking bed. I’m picky, it takes awhile. I think I see a dust bunny, inside.
I head to the class.
The class is taught by civilian contractors. It’s another white tent. The main instructor is wearing some sort of eyewear. They could possibly serve as assistance for his vision, or they just as easily could be protection from the sun. I am not sure which.
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “Good morning everybody, it’s good to have you here.”
Class: {blank stares}
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “I will be your main instructor. We have lots of exciting material to cover!”
Class: {blank stares}
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “We just started teaching this stuff, in theatre, this year. We have done 200 soldiers so far. You guys are history in the making. Although it’s not written down anywhere.”
(Pause for laughter)
Class: {blank stares}
We begin the class.
I take notes. I rub my eyes. I Miss something. Take notes. Rub eyes. Miss something.
Ten hours later, the day’s class is done. I leave, search for the gym and find it. It’s another white tent. When I’m done working out, I search for an internet café. I find it. It’s a little white trailer. This will do. But first I wait, in line, I hate lines. I wait in fucking line. Next to a little white trailer.
Once inside I quickly commence my usual routine. Email. News. Bank Account. Sports Headlines. Finally, my latest venture, blogging.
Surprise, Surprise! I have been tagged. This is interesting, I’ve read them but never been apart of one. It looks like fun. I have eighteen minutes to reply. There are soldiers waiting in line.
I finish and walk back to my tent, large and white with broken bed frames. Once inside, I see the other two soldiers.
Me: “hey what’s up” (as I walk by)
Dude: “hey, were you in that class today?”
Me: “Yeah”
Dude: “you looked familiar”
Me: “yeah”
Dude: “well, good night”
Me: “yeah, good night”
The class starts again at 0700. I set my alarm for 0635. Five minutes to dress. Five minutes to shave. Five minutes to brush. It’s a ten minute walk and I have no intentions of eating breakfast. I never do, sleep comes first.
At 0600, the other soldiers wake up. Lights go on. A bed frame breaks. I wake, but try to ignore them. I have 35 minutes.
At 0620…
Dude: “hey man, wake up. We got class at 0700”
{Yes I know, this is true}
Me: “okay, thanks. I got it”
Dude: “It’s 0620”
Me: “I know, I got fifteen minutes. Thank you.”
I wake up on time, at 0635. I do everything a minute faster than the prescribed time and make it to class four minutes early.
We have tables now, but only so many. The seating arrangements from the day before, that I had hoped would transfer over to the next day, were no more. My usual position, in the back left of any room, whether it’s a class or a waiting area, has been taken. My new position is closer to the front and directly between two other soldiers. This new location doesn’t bother me so much as the lack of personal space. I’m not just picky. I also want as much room as I can have. In every situation. I look at the back left. My arms move only from the elbows on down.
There is a female soldier next to me, she attempts to kill a fly.
Class begins.
Today’s teacher stands sideways when he speaks. Always facing to our left. There is nothing of particular importance about the wall to our left.
Sideways Guy: “Good morning everybody. We have lots to cover today.”
Class: {Blank stares}
I rub my eyes.
I wonder if the sideways guy is wearing a toupee. I don’t care, I just want to know for sure. I think about asking the female soldier next to me, but she’s watching a fly. I leave her alone.
Sideways guy goes through his power point presentation while looking at the wall. I can’t see his right arm. Part way through, he takes a break and another guy steps in to talk about something else. He stands directly in the middle of the room. In the middle of all the tables, and directly in front of me. As he speaks, he takes one step to his right and two steps to his left. This process continues to repeat itself until he gets to the end of the tables and starts over. As he speaks, he decides he needs a volunteer to include in his lecture. He doesn’t need someone to demonstrate any form of action, just the name of somebody. I sit quietly and take notes.
Guy in the middle of the room: “So what would happen if…err…(he looks at me) SGT Rolligun comes across this situation. What should SGT Rolligun do?”
I rub my eyes.
Am I supposed to answer?
Class: {Blank stares}
The guy in the middle of the room answers his own questions and continues to use me, or my name, as an aid in his presentation. It catches me off guard, but I’m o.k. with it. It gives me a warm feeling of convergence. I want to stand next to him. One step to the right, two to the left. I know the pattern.
Instead, I take notes. Rub my eyes. Try not to miss anything.
Class: {Blank Stares}
The female soldier tries to kill another fly. She misses, again.
At the end of the day, I look for the white tent that has a gym inside it. It’s between two other large white tents. When I’m done I look for the white trailer. The line is to long. Fuck it. I go back to my tent. It takes twelve minutes this time.
The next day class starts fifteen minutes earlier. So now I wake up at 0620. I thought this would please the other two soldiers. They don’t seem to care.
Class Begins.
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “Last day of class, is anyone gonna miss me?”
(Pause for laughter)
Class: {You get the point}
I take notes. I rub my eyes. I Miss something. Take notes. Rub eyes. Miss something.
We take a break at about 1000. I happen to exit the door at the same time as another soldier. An inevitable conversation is required. He’s funny and I like him. But I’d rather just think to myself and get some air. This doesn’t happen.
Class continues till we break for chow. The soldier from this morning glances back at me as everyone starts to leave. I pretend to shuffle papers in some fashion of importance. He passes. I head to the chow hall, eat quickly and return to my seat in the middle of the room. I look at the back left corner and wish I were there. I am early, so I start to read. A different female soldier returns and sits two seats to my left. She starts to read a magazine. She reads aloud and begins to do some sort of bizarre stretch. She is still in her seat and it looks awkward. Despite my curiosity, I continue to read.
Class resumes.
Guy with Dual Purpose Eyewear: “Were almost done, two more sections. But we could go longer.”
(Pause)
Class: {Blank Stares}
Class continues on and on.
I take notes. I rub my eyes. I Miss something. Take notes. Rub eyes. Miss something.
The female soldier next to me finally kills a fly. I congratulate her and she laughs. It’s the only thing I said to her.
Eventually we finish and to conclude the course, we actually had to take a class picture. Allegedly for head count purposes. I usually don’t like having my picture taken, but I don’t ask any questions. Although I have them.
Well that’s my latest post with no devise and essentially, the last three days of my life. I leave tomorrow morning.
I will wake up at 0610.
~Rolligun
posted by Rolligun at 1:03 AM
6 Comments:
Dude, that Female Army Fly Chick was totally hitting on you! I can't believe you let her get away! LOL
Oh the flies you would have killed.
How do you not go insane? The monotony and pointlessness of so many activities would drive me nuts.
So, why are you so anti-social? I don't mean to seem rude, but is there an actual reason? Besides you just being anti-social by nature? Maybe I am just a people person, but I think the only thing to occupy the time would be to get to know others.
Anyway, I would have to agree with Steph, I would go insane. And maybe kill flies.
C.S
I know, I know, girls with a fly obsession are almost always keepers.
Army girls aren't really my thing, I usually go for the unconventional and free spirted kind, not the ones that "walk in step"
Steph
Yes, monotony, very much so. I tried to capture that. On the other hand, I find alot of shit in life funny, so I try to pay attention to those things as well.
Heidi
Oh the accusations!! Only kidding, umm how to explain myself. I wouldn’t say that I’m an anti-social person, quite the opposite actually. I am very in tuned to what is going on around me, with people and behavior. I guess with an introverted twist. I am sure that clears up nothing. I’ll try again…I am more likely to say something observational or discerning as opposed to saying something about the weather. You also have to understand the environment. I’m not in a bar, at a park or the work place. But I can be a sort of private person and I definitely enjoy time to myself! The hypocrisy continues.
As far as a need to occupy time, that is not a concern for me. I can always keep myself busy or entertained.
I do smile and say hello to strangers, thought you should know.
Well, at least you are not flipping randome people off...
Cause that would be rude. ;-)
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