Quick post with a pre-emptive answer to Meghans Question
I'm still in the midst of day one with my new mission and new unit. Not much to report so far. The unit is from Puerto Rico, and they frequently look at me like I'm holding part of a cow when I speak. My sense of humor is also completely lost on them. I do laugh and smile and all that, but I otherwise tend to be straight faced with dry taste for humor. This only provokes more looks that suggest I'm retarded. We'll get through it in due time.
So far the day has been pretty casual with nothing to speak of, but that's the way the DAYTIME is suppose to be. Later tonight, which for me, is in an hour or so is when things are suppose to happen. I'm not sure how I feel about this...in the very near future I will be witness to physical causilties from the war today. I will see their bodies, or what remains. I will see their possesions. I will know their names. I won't forget.
"Change Step"
Meghan has recently posted about all of the difficiencies and problems caused by shorter dudes in society today. As if there couldn't be anything worse than being swayed by someone who knows your own chin better than you. As I said before, I am 5"7 and realize this declaration may prevent any future blogging crushes for me. If that's the case, I am o.k. with it and the world will still turn.
This post isn't the first time I have ever heard this objection, my first expieriance came when I was in the seventh grade. God was I cool back then. I just so happen to be dating...A GIRL, in the EIGTH grade. She was hot!!! And for two weeks of my life, I knew what it felt like to be a stud!
One night there was a dance.
I've been able to historically trace my hormones back to at least kindergarten, and this night was no different. All day at school I walked with a stride, nodded at people in the hallways and pointed my finger as if to say hello. So cool. I gave dating advice to all my friends and dressed to impress.
"The dance"
It got off to a great start...my dad dropped me off a block away so I looked like I just came walking out of the wilderness, and automatically prepared to entered the stage.
There I found Katie, the beautiful and taller than me Katie.
We laughed and talked. I continued to nod and point. And then, things took a cruel and twisted turn of events...the first slow song had just begun. I wasn't afraid. I was a stud! Ready to perform my duites as an intimate dance machine.
The slow dance begins.
We rock back and forth, back and forth and slowly complete perfect 360 degree circles. Pretty much the same with all adolescent couples back then.
Every 90 degrees, I nodded at someone. Didn't care who it was. I just fucking nodded every 90 degrees.
At the end of the dance, we separted and took a customary timeout and headed back to our corners to converse with our ring coaches, or friends.
As I stand there, sharing glorious tales of success about being with an "older" woman, one of Katie's friends approaches me.
Katie's friend: "Rolligun, Katie doesn't want to dance with you anymore"
4'6 Stud: "What?!?"
Katie's friend: "She says you kept going up and down on your tip-e-toes"
4'6 Boy: "I was not!!!"
Katies' friend: "She says she doesn't want to dance with you anymore. She was embarrassed."
What the fuck!!! I was ready to beg and plead with Katie, to promise her that I could keep consistant altitude in the future. But by the time I found her, she was already hanging out with a boy in her own grade. His name was Gary and he smoked cigarettes. At twelve years old, I wasn't prepared to compete with five inches and tobacco.
No more nodding that nite, my head was down, permanently.
So far the day has been pretty casual with nothing to speak of, but that's the way the DAYTIME is suppose to be. Later tonight, which for me, is in an hour or so is when things are suppose to happen. I'm not sure how I feel about this...in the very near future I will be witness to physical causilties from the war today. I will see their bodies, or what remains. I will see their possesions. I will know their names. I won't forget.
"Change Step"
Meghan has recently posted about all of the difficiencies and problems caused by shorter dudes in society today. As if there couldn't be anything worse than being swayed by someone who knows your own chin better than you. As I said before, I am 5"7 and realize this declaration may prevent any future blogging crushes for me. If that's the case, I am o.k. with it and the world will still turn.
This post isn't the first time I have ever heard this objection, my first expieriance came when I was in the seventh grade. God was I cool back then. I just so happen to be dating...A GIRL, in the EIGTH grade. She was hot!!! And for two weeks of my life, I knew what it felt like to be a stud!
One night there was a dance.
I've been able to historically trace my hormones back to at least kindergarten, and this night was no different. All day at school I walked with a stride, nodded at people in the hallways and pointed my finger as if to say hello. So cool. I gave dating advice to all my friends and dressed to impress.
"The dance"
It got off to a great start...my dad dropped me off a block away so I looked like I just came walking out of the wilderness, and automatically prepared to entered the stage.
There I found Katie, the beautiful and taller than me Katie.
We laughed and talked. I continued to nod and point. And then, things took a cruel and twisted turn of events...the first slow song had just begun. I wasn't afraid. I was a stud! Ready to perform my duites as an intimate dance machine.
The slow dance begins.
We rock back and forth, back and forth and slowly complete perfect 360 degree circles. Pretty much the same with all adolescent couples back then.
Every 90 degrees, I nodded at someone. Didn't care who it was. I just fucking nodded every 90 degrees.
At the end of the dance, we separted and took a customary timeout and headed back to our corners to converse with our ring coaches, or friends.
As I stand there, sharing glorious tales of success about being with an "older" woman, one of Katie's friends approaches me.
Katie's friend: "Rolligun, Katie doesn't want to dance with you anymore"
4'6 Stud: "What?!?"
Katie's friend: "She says you kept going up and down on your tip-e-toes"
4'6 Boy: "I was not!!!"
Katies' friend: "She says she doesn't want to dance with you anymore. She was embarrassed."
What the fuck!!! I was ready to beg and plead with Katie, to promise her that I could keep consistant altitude in the future. But by the time I found her, she was already hanging out with a boy in her own grade. His name was Gary and he smoked cigarettes. At twelve years old, I wasn't prepared to compete with five inches and tobacco.
No more nodding that nite, my head was down, permanently.
posted by Rolligun at 12:30 AM
22 Comments:
Oh . . I'm so sad! How crushing for your poor young ego!!
Rolligun, shortness or not, you're hott stuff. And I can say that because you're tattooed, pierced and your ideas are extremely well written.
I don't care what the other girl's think . .consider yourself crushed upon. I'm totally crushing. Especially now.
Um, did she really say "Rolligun"
J/k
I will write later about your new job.
Rolli, you are HAWT. I don't think you're short. What you "think" you lack in height you more than make up for in stature.
Oh, Jesus...
Thank you ladies for trying to rebuild by ego with such lavish praise, but I can assure, my ego is well built.
Chairborne,
You wanna talk about football or something?
Are you implying that our "praise" is empty????
I can assure you Steph and I say VERY little if ANYTHING that we don't mean.
Praise my arse - we're just letting you know what we think. :)
You're hot stuff.
Of course not Meghan, I trust you and Steph as much as one possibley could...over the internet, with thousands of miles of separation, never having met, and in completely anonymous forum. Sure do.
Just kidding. I think you can tell alot about a person by how they write and what they say. I trust my intuition when it comes to you two. I think we'd have a blast if we ever met in a social setting, that is of course if you don't "overlook" me. And I'm very fortunate to have come across both of your blogs. I get a kick out them, a laugh of course, and sometimes end up smarter after I read them.
And no I don't find your praise empty, I believe you.
I like criticism, and yes, yes, appluase is always good two. I just tend to be less patient when receiving it. But thank you nonetheless.
Hmm . . criticism . . I can do criticism. I'll keep that in mind for future posts.
dude, pats are beating up on the bucs right now. 4th quarter. looks like they might make the playoffs.
Hey, wait! I can talk football too! (kinda) You don't have to be a guy! I'm a Steelers and Penn State fan myself...
As for the height thing... never been much of a problem having guys shorter then me; I'm 5'2"
What do you have against the Pats, Chair?? Nevermind, scratch that, if this football conversation morphs into what the baseball conversations have become, I will never forgive myself.
Rolli, doll, when shall we expect to hear how the new job is progressing? We're all in a holding pattern here.
Ok, first off, Heidi-big Kudos to you-Go Stillers!!
Meghan=Don't even get me started. What do I have against the Pats?? For one thing, do you know how much it has pissed me off to watch year after year after year as the Patriots beat the crap out of Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship?
Bellichick has our number and it really ticks me off. And to make matters worse, the Steelers always seem to win home field advantage, so they end up doing it to us in our own house.
AND-to rub it in, I paid $400 and sat in the 10 degree weather to watch last year in January as the Steelers laid down and DIED on the 10 yard line late in the 3rd quarter. And like the only Patriots fan in the whole place sat beside me. After like 4 beers I told him if he shouted in my ear one more time I was going to kick his ass.
Yes, Yes Chairborne, that's what I'm looking for...all this previous talk of hottnessa and all that wasn't working for me.
Football, beer, and shut the fuck up!!! That's the stuff good blog comments are made of!
Heidi, Meghan, Chair...but not too much football talk, I'm a Packer fan and this just isn't the right time for me. Sorry for the leash, but it's MY blog (thanks meg).
Meghan, I'll get to the new mission, but right now I'm still kind of absorbing some things. Not sure what to say or think at this point. It's pretty fucked up.
LOL-no problemo, bro.
Okay, well, sorry but I can't talk football but about the short thing... my DH is rather short and in fact we are almost the exact same height. (I started to post this on Megs blog but chickened out.) What DH lacks in height he completely makes up for in other ways. Height definitely isn't everything.
Rolligun, sorry you had such a shallow dance partner. She, in so many ways, was much shorter than you! (not as good at the analogies as you) ;0)
Fine, after THIS, no more football talk.
Chair - I'm with you there, I can't STAND watching them beat the Steelers out every year, but otherwise . . . I gotta say, Brady's too impressive for me to start hating on the team. Though, yesterday I felt bad for the Bucs.
Rolli - Poor baby, I dated a Packers fan for a while last year . . having a bad go of it, aren't you guys? VERY sorry. I know how it is to back a losing team.
As for the new post, take your time, kiddo. Just letting you know that we wondered how it was going. If you don't have the heart to write it - - DONT. I don't want you hurting to satisfy our curiosities.
Mommy - chickened out?? Huh?? Why??
ahhh, packers fan. well, i can share in your misery, as i, the drunken chud, am i lions fan. currently we are in the process of getting our asses kicked by the bengals. THE BENGALS! historically the worst team ever. but this year... the bengals are good. and well, the lions just suck. 24-7 hlafway through the third. nope, make it 31 as i type this. anyhow, i too got dumped at my middle school dance. but under the exact opposite conditions. i am 6'3 and have always been tall. i was taller than my date, we danced to aerosmith "dream on". you know, true love. then later her friend came up to me and told me that i would no longer enjoy the company of lisa as she was more interested in this other guy. he came up to her chin, had such bad eyes that when you looked in his glasses his eyes seemed fucking huge! so, the first dance of my life i was dumped. so, i crawled into a bottle and haven't come out since. heh.
Mommy...
good point, it is very true that I make up for my lack of height in other ares. Yeah, that's right baby, I am very good crawler.
Meghan, Kiddo?? I am older than you. Your gonna leave me no other choice but to start nicknaming you.
Punk, then kiddo...what's next, my dear and unpredictable meghan?
Drunken...good comment, way to follow the suggested guidlines. Come get a beer with chairborne and I. Meghan, and Heidi are buying.
Good to hear from you and thanks for commenting on my blog.
Whoa, whoa, whoa... Wait a sec. Why am I buying? The Steelers won today so I think those of you with the losing teams should buy... :-P
Take that!
And I think I am the shortest one here, so that means I never have to buy a drink.
(I have no idea where that came from, but it sounds like a good rule to me)
Heidi
Sorry sweat pea, but I'm the only one who can make rules on this blog. Now go get me an Amber Bok.
Quickly, Quickly.
mmm... amber bock... i like your style rolli.
I'm only buying if it's Corona, Amber Bok, Fat Tire or Dos Equis. Anything else and you're on your own.
And yes, KIDDO. Punk and Kiddo are perfectly acceptable . . but since you complained . . just wait to see what I call you next.
spelling is unimportant. it's the idea that matters.
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