I feel like Bill Murray
I’m not a film critic and I couldn’t name very many of his movies, but what I do know of Bill Murray is the type of character he usually seems to play. Apathetic. Constant and sardonic. It’s the way he absorbs life and his reactions to it. Those are the qualities I always found entertaining about him. I don’t want to be like Bill Murray, but that’s what I feel like. I feel like Bill Murray.
Well I think I’m done with my “sabbatical” as it was amusingly described at one point. I don’t think I’m entitled to such notions, but nonetheless, blogging resumes with the help of Bill Murray.
I was hopping to kick this off again with some tales of heroism, the realizations of deep internal thoughts, perhaps some danger or even travel. Instead I have nothing, so I will dazzle you with the following…
My pay is all messed up. The military seems to be giving me money and then taking it away. This isn’t a new phenomenon in the Army, however it is unexpected. I have yet to determine the reasoning behind the mysterious debt that is so finely referred to miniature fonts at the bottom of my LES (Electronic Pay Stub). It would almost be hard to notice the slight deductions, but I tend to be quite detailed when it comes to that sort of thing. Especially when it’s coming from Uncle Sam’s wallet. I sometimes get the impression he likes to pay out in large quantities of singles and every so often, he’ll accidentally miscount. Here is your three hundred dollars in singles, feel free to count them out. Well, I can count, and will be using all ten of my fingers when I get the chance to go the finance detachment and explain the situation.
Also, my LES is indicating that my ETS (The day I’m no longer a Soldier) is in fact three years longer than I had understood it to be. This is an interesting turn of events as far as my future is concerned. I don’t plan on being in the Army that long. No plans whatsoever. I had to look for additional assistance from the people around me to confirm if my eyes were working properly or not. Yep. Seems as though Uncle Sam has been transforming those dollars he’s been keeping into additional days on my enlistment contract. Quite the magician, that dear uncle of mine. Anyway, I’ve never signed such a document, that isn’t my correct date of discharge and this story isn’t over.
I have managed to pay off the last of my $12,000 in debt that was the creation of personal loans and credit cards combined (we’ll leave student loans at bay). I also topped off an investment account that I started with residential ambitions. Not quite ready for that point in my life, but the affairs are in order. Anyway, I’m free of creditors and bankers. Take your letters, your bonus points, and new offers and insert them somewhere else.
Things that have kept me busy, all described to you in run of the mill one word descriptions… (Not related to my everyday responsibilities)
Counting
Cleaning
Swearing
Planning
Documenting
Repairing
Swearing
Guarding
Moving
Packing
Unpacking
Swearing
&
Shadowing
(I’d been tasked with the temporary role of “arm candy” for my first sergeant. We bounced among camps and I served as an escort. I followed in stride and tried to look my best.)
~Rolligun
A Special thanks to Bill Murray.
Well I think I’m done with my “sabbatical” as it was amusingly described at one point. I don’t think I’m entitled to such notions, but nonetheless, blogging resumes with the help of Bill Murray.
I was hopping to kick this off again with some tales of heroism, the realizations of deep internal thoughts, perhaps some danger or even travel. Instead I have nothing, so I will dazzle you with the following…
My pay is all messed up. The military seems to be giving me money and then taking it away. This isn’t a new phenomenon in the Army, however it is unexpected. I have yet to determine the reasoning behind the mysterious debt that is so finely referred to miniature fonts at the bottom of my LES (Electronic Pay Stub). It would almost be hard to notice the slight deductions, but I tend to be quite detailed when it comes to that sort of thing. Especially when it’s coming from Uncle Sam’s wallet. I sometimes get the impression he likes to pay out in large quantities of singles and every so often, he’ll accidentally miscount. Here is your three hundred dollars in singles, feel free to count them out. Well, I can count, and will be using all ten of my fingers when I get the chance to go the finance detachment and explain the situation.
Also, my LES is indicating that my ETS (The day I’m no longer a Soldier) is in fact three years longer than I had understood it to be. This is an interesting turn of events as far as my future is concerned. I don’t plan on being in the Army that long. No plans whatsoever. I had to look for additional assistance from the people around me to confirm if my eyes were working properly or not. Yep. Seems as though Uncle Sam has been transforming those dollars he’s been keeping into additional days on my enlistment contract. Quite the magician, that dear uncle of mine. Anyway, I’ve never signed such a document, that isn’t my correct date of discharge and this story isn’t over.
I have managed to pay off the last of my $12,000 in debt that was the creation of personal loans and credit cards combined (we’ll leave student loans at bay). I also topped off an investment account that I started with residential ambitions. Not quite ready for that point in my life, but the affairs are in order. Anyway, I’m free of creditors and bankers. Take your letters, your bonus points, and new offers and insert them somewhere else.
Things that have kept me busy, all described to you in run of the mill one word descriptions… (Not related to my everyday responsibilities)
Counting
Cleaning
Swearing
Planning
Documenting
Repairing
Swearing
Guarding
Moving
Packing
Unpacking
Swearing
&
Shadowing
(I’d been tasked with the temporary role of “arm candy” for my first sergeant. We bounced among camps and I served as an escort. I followed in stride and tried to look my best.)
~Rolligun
A Special thanks to Bill Murray.
posted by Rolligun at 9:26 AM
7 Comments:
Fitting topic for Groundhog Day... I am glad to see you're back.
Ok the only thing I remember Bill Murray from is SNL and Caddy Shack... both were HYSTERICAL!!
Rolli, it is so good to have you back!!
Kinda freaky but my husband always said that everyday was Groundhog Day when he was in Iraq. And you know, it really is Groundhog Day today. Very appropriate post.
Good for you to keep an eye on the LES. Finance has been known to do some weird stuff. I hope you enjoyed your 'sabbatical'.
welcome back stranger.
army pay was one thing i heard horror stories about when i was trying to enlist. it's one of the reasons i chose the marines... but, you know how that story played out. anyhow, is your unit on stop loss? is that why they extended you another 3 years? calling in your inactive reserve time? hopefully you get it straightened out.
So happy to have you back from your sabbatical -- and yes, that's what it was, whether you find yourself believing it or not.
Uncle Sam and money - HA. And that's all I have to say there.
Length of enlistment - I have a good lawyer, if you need one. I will only require (in exchange, of course) that you be "arm candy" for me at some point . . . since you're doing it elsewhere.
Sweetie, all that swearing?? I knew I liked you.
Swearing be good for the soul...or sumthin.
Sooooo glad you're back. I missed you much.
Get that money sorted you promised me shoes....lots of shoes!!!
Laurie,
I definately dwell on shit, it's a fault, actually more of an annoyance than anything, but in either case it will get taken care of.
And do we need to create some sort of public awarness for the "trophy wife" phenomenon
Kristin,
Well thanks for having me, good to hear from you.
BG,
I had to figure out a way to hear from you again.
Kate,
Yeah, I've always had my eye on that evil finance office, they got nothin on me!
Chud,
Hey partner, I knew you wouldn't let me down.
It's not stop loss, it's just paper work. No big deal. I'll take care of it.
Meghan,
I won't need a lawyer,but that doesn't mean we can't come to some sort of exchange if you really want me to decorate you arm. I could think of something.
And You like me?
Steph,
Nothing would stop me from getting you shoes, I'd rob a store if I had too!
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